I know it's been over a year since I've updated this, but this event called for it.

Gabe, Tycho, this one is for you.

Dear BJ,

Just letting you hear from a gamer getting off his lazy ass.

I don't think I need to type much. My guess is that what I could say will be better stated by legions of other gamers that, I beleive, are e-mailing you as I write. I'm sure the messages are peppered with insults, citations of valor and integrity on part of gamers everywhere, and several instances of the word "fuckhead." There's going to be people ripping your site and show apart and talking about how your self-imposed mission to "help men reclaim their manhood" speaks volumes about your own compensation. People are going to talk endlessly about Child's Play, defend Penny Arcade, and point out how Gabe and Tycho are pretty much figureheads for gamers everywhere. They might even go as far as to say that all groups of people - religious, political, social, economic, and any number of other differentiations - need guys like those two at the forefront dictacting commands and effortlessly bringing unity and solidarity to otherwise scattered hordes.

And all of them will be right.

I just wanted to point out that your completely out of touch with reality. You sit inside a little room and spout off a lot of nonsense because you have no one to tell you otherwise. Then you pretend to show opposition in the form of callers, who you can cut off the second they start to make valid points against you. It's a lot like me writing this e-mail, except that I'm not being a total wad about it and I'm not going to give you the chance to open that big vile mouth of yours. I don't need to listen to idiots any more than I have to, so why give you he chance?
I'm just pointing out that you can call shots all damn day without wearing pants because no one gives a shit, but the second they do, you zip up and act like you've got a reason to still go home at night and think "Man my balls are great."

So cut the bullshit. Be a close-minded fuckhead if you want. That makes no difference to us. We're the kids and people all around the world that are smarter than you and know our place. And most of the time we don't care. But we get fiercely loyal about a few things, and being pushed around for no goddamn reason is one of them. My suggestion - to eat shit - is about the only thing you could do at this point, because enough has come out of your mouth that you're probably used to the taste.

So what's the point here? Talk all you want. Have your balls squeezed by a bunch of opinions that have been incorrect since the 80s, and let your dick be handled by propoganda from the idiotic media. Then make an ass out of yourself on the radio since it makes you feel so good.
We'll just add you to the list of morons and go on our way. But before we let you off, we're going to give you a nice kick in the balls.

That all said, we're the heroes in the end, and you're just the stupid fucker masturbating in the dark.

Cheers,Strell